Mulder and Scully each recall their own version of how they caught a "vampire" in Cheney, Texas.

Bad Blood was fantastic, moving hysterically from one classic moment to the next, sending The X Files and its central characters up and producing probably the funniest episode yet in the process.

The teaser was great, showing a man in a trenchcoat but not revealing him as Mulder until he staked Ronnie (how many people winced as he bashed that stake in?). I loved Scully's look of "Oh my god, what have you done?" after she removed the fake teeth, but not as much as Mulder's "oh sh-"!

Using two different perspectives was a great way to tell the story, letting Mulder and Scully show their perceptions of themselves and each other. The differences between their accounts and the exaggeration of certain aspects of their personalities were very, very funny.

Scully's version of an "exuberant" Mulder was amusing, as was his obvious disbelief in Scully's Satanist theory. She apparently sees him as constantly putting her down, as with "get those little legs moving," "your theory" complete with quotation marks and "Agents Mulder and, er, Scully."

Mulder, however, seems to see himself as sensitive and reasonable and Scully as sullen and unresponsive. I think this exchange demonstrates that pretty well:

Mulder: I don't want to jump to any hasty conclusions…but I think that what we may be looking at is what appears to be a series of vampire or vampire-like acts.

Scully: On what do you base that?

Mulder: Well, on the corpses drained of blood, and the fang marks on the neck.

Love-struck Scully was also quite funny, especially in Mulder's version. The background music in her own version as Sheriff Hartwell appeared was just right, and I liked the way they recapped his dialogue, changing "Dana" to "Agent Scully" after Mulder pointed out he hadn't known her first name. Scully's "Oh boy" in Mulder's version was great and I loved the face Mulder made at Hartwell's buck teeth.

The scenes with the body in the funeral home were good. Mulder's long explanation about vampires in his version was good, but funnier was Scully's face as she listened, and her great line "If there's a point, Mulder, please feel free to come to it." I loved Mulder dramatically taking Scully by the shoulders only to say "I don't know" and her explanation that "he does that."

Onto the autopsies. It was nice (possibly the wrong word!) to see some more of what they actually involve - it's been a while since we saw any icky internal organs during a post-mortem. I loved the way the second large intestine oozed out of the scales. The breaking scalpel and Scully's sarcastic "yee-ha" were cool, but the best bits were the stomach contents examinations as Scully identified various pizza toppings and you just had to wonder what it looked like.

Random mention of a funny moment: changing of caption from "Davey Crockett Motor Court" to "Sam Houston Motor Lodge."

Mulder's attempt to "skip ahead" was funny as he tried to avoid looking stupid. His "different approach" to catching the van - hanging onto the back of it - cracked me up! His screaming and his being thrown off were very, very funny. I liked the version of Ride of the Valkyries that played as they found the corpse in the van, but why did they choose that piece of music?

The scenes in Scully's motel room were funny (but what wasn't in this episode?). Her voice vibrating as she talked on the "Magic Fingers" amused me for some reason, but Mulder laughing on the bed cracked me up completely! But the funniest thing here had to be Mulder's fantastic rendition of Shaft! and his immediate, insistent "I did NOT!" In case you're interested, here's what he actually said:

"Who's the black private dick who's a sex machine with all the chicks? Shaft! Can you dig it? They say this cat Shaft is a bad mother - shut your mouth! Talkin' 'bout Shaft."

The way the pizza wobbled as Mulder ate it amused me (simple things, I know). Note that, in Scully's version, when the heavy breather phoned her she just hung up but Mulder revealed that she was slightly less civilised and called him a creep.

A piece of advice for Scully: I know you were drugged, but if you're alone with a vampire, don't tip your head back and expose your throat! The vampire eyes were unbelievably cool though, but apparently the contact lenses were horribly uncomfortable to wear. Ronnie's realisation that he had no vampire teeth was good, after that creepy moment where he sat up in the mortuary. And I loved Scully's subtle denial of Mulder's vampire theory ("I can neither confirm nor deny Agent Mulder's version of events which happened outside my presence") and Mulder's subsequent denial of Scully's entire story ("I can neither confirm nor deny Agent Scully's version of events").

In case you hadn't guessed from this review, I loved Bad Blood. Anderson and Duchovny were both brilliant, proving that they can do comedy, in Duchovny's case possibly better than he does drama. The last line, "except for the part about the buck teeth" was the perfect ending.

Best lines - there are a lot of these! J

Scully: Is there any sign of-

Mulder: Two small puncture wounds on the neck?

Scully: That's not what I was going to ask.

Mulder: Too bad, we got 'em.

Scully: You're not going to tell me you think this is that Mexican goatsucker thing?

Mulder: El Chucupabras? No, they got four fangs, not two. And they suck goats, hence the name.

Mulder: Classic vampirism.

Scully: Of a bunch of cows?

Mulder: Nice threads!

Mulder: Do you have an old cemetery in town, off the beaten track, the creepier the better?

Scully, about her autopsy subject: Who is arguably having a worse time in Texas than I am. Although not by much.

Mulder: You gotta do another autopsy.

Scully: Tonight? I just put money in the Magic Fingers.

Mulder: I won't let it go to waste.

Scully: Stomach contents include - pizza. (Gasps.) Chloralhydrates in the pizza. The pizza guy! (Gasps.) Mulder!

Scully: Well it's obviously not a vampire.

Mulder: Why not?

Scully: Because they don't exist.

Hartwell: There you go - I ain't hearing any birds singing. Course it's winter, and we ain't got no birds…

Mulder: So, we staked out the cemetery.

Scully: What do you mean you want me to do another autopsy? And why do we have to do it right now? I just spent hours on my feet doing an autopsy all for you. I do it all for you Mulder. You know I haven't eaten since six o'clock this morning and all that was was half of a cream cheese bagel and it wasn't even real cream cheese it was light cream cheese and now you want me to run off and do another autopsy? What the hell happened to you? (Mulder's face through all this is priceless!)

Pathologist: Probable cause of death - gee, that's a tough one.

Mulder: I was drugged!

Mulder: The coroner's dead?

Skinner: No, his throat was bitten. It was sort of… gnawed on.

Scully: But he was dead.

Mulder: I noticed that.

Scully: With a stake through his heart.

Mulder: I noticed that too.

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